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LAST WEEK’S POLL RESULTS
What's the main barrier stopping you (or your CEO/founder) from sharing your founder story?
Last week's poll revealed that the main reasons CEO/founders are not sharing their stories are:
Don't know which format or platform to use
Not sure if my personal story is relevant or interesting enough
Don't want to centre myself when it should be about beneficiaries
What this tells us: The barriers to sharing founder stories aren't primarily about vulnerability or fear of judgment. They're about technical uncertainty (which platform?), impostor syndrome (is my story interesting enough?), and mission alignment concerns (should I be centring myself?). But before you worry about any of that, you need to understand consent. Because without proper consent processes, you shouldn't be telling anyone's story - including your own when it involves others.
Today’s newsletter has a trigger warning for suicide.
In this edition
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WEEKLY POLL
What Do You Do With the Stories You Capture?
What happens when someone shares their story with your organisation?
- We don't currently share beneficiary stories publicly
- We get verbal consent in the moment and use stories immediately
- We have a consent form but it's quite vague about use
- We have clear consent with specific use cases people can choose
- We co-create stories with people and give them control over narrative
- Something else
Poll results will be shared in next week's edition.
THIS WEEK’S BIG IDEA
The stories you're not telling might be protecting your dignity. The stories you are telling might not be.
I learned about consent the hard way.
Eleven years ago, I started sharing the story behind by charity, Naz and Matt Foundation. My fiancé Naz died by suicide. I wanted other LGBTQI+ people, and their families, facing similar situations to know they weren't alone.
What I didn't understand then was how consent works when the person at the centre of the story can't give it anymore.
Naz can't tell me if he'd want his story shared at government departments. He can't say whether he'd be comfortable with Channel 4 making a documentary. He can't decide if the song the Young'uns wrote about us should be performed at folk festivals.
But what I do know is that we had many conversations together about building a legacy that would outlast our physical lives. A few months before he passed away, he also asked me to promise him that I would never forget him.
I kept my word. And I made a promise that I would never allow the world to forget him, too.
I had to work out my own ethical framework. Where was the line between authentic sharing that helped others and exploitation for engagement?
That tension never goes away. I still feel it before every talk.
Most organisations never think about this properly. They either play it completely safe and tell no vulnerable stories, or they rush consent and cause harm.
Neither approach serves your mission.
Here’s the difficult thing that I need to say out loud: Most consent processes in charities and social impact projects are designed to protect the organisation from legal risk, not to protect the dignity of the person whose story is being shared.
That needs to change.
The Two Consent Mistakes
Mistake 1: Avoiding all vulnerable stories
Some organisations decide it's safer to tell no beneficiary stories at all. Just activities, numbers, organisational updates.
This feels responsible. But it has a cost.
Without stories showing actual change in real people's lives, funders and project sponsors struggle to trust your impact is real. Your supporters can't connect emotionally. Your team loses sight of why the work matters.
You're protecting people from a risk that might not exist. But you're also limiting your ability to prove your mission works.
Mistake 2: Rushing consent without proper process
Other organisations grab consent too quickly.
A beneficiary mentions they're grateful for your support. Your comms team asks: "Can we share your story?"
They say yes because they feel they should. They don't understand what they're actually agreeing to.
Six months later, their photo appears on your website. Then in a funding proposal. Then in a LinkedIn post. Then in a printed leaflet. Then in local press.
They never agreed to all of that. They agreed to something vague in a moment when they felt obligated.
That's not informed consent. That's permission extraction.
What Proper Consent Actually Requires
Consent isn't a checkbox. It's an ongoing conversation that protects the person's dignity while enabling you to share their story ethically.
Here's what real consent needs:
1. Time and space
Don't ask for consent in the moment of transformation. Don't ask when someone is grateful, vulnerable, or dependent on your services.
Wait. Give them distance from the immediate experience.
Then approach them separately, outside of service delivery, and explain what you're asking for.
Note: You should make a note of that moment of transformation before it gets forgotten, but you shouldn't be asking for formal consent in that moment
2. Full transparency about use
"Can we share your story?" is too vague.
Be specific:
Where will this appear? (Website, funding applications, social media, press)
Who will see it? (Internal, supporters, general public)
Will your name be used? Real name, first name only, or pseudonym?
Will photos be included? Face visible or obscured?
How long will it remain public? (Website archives, printed materials that exist forever)
People can't give informed consent if they don't know what they're consenting to.
3. The right to withdraw
Consent isn't permanent.
Someone might agree to their story being shared today but change their mind in six months. Their circumstances might change. Their safety might be affected.
They need to know they can withdraw consent at any time, and you'll remove their story from active use as quickly as possible.
If this won’t be possible because of the nature of the project - such as a documentary film or a broadcast TV interview - then they need to be made aware of this upfront.
(You can't unpublish printed materials or un-send emails, but you can remove content from your website and stop using it going forward.)
4. No obligation
The person needs to know that saying no won't affect their access to your services.
This is especially critical if your organisation holds power over them - if you're their housing provider, their support service, their employer.
Make it explicitly clear:
"Saying no to sharing your story won't change the support we provide."
5. Separate consent for different uses
Someone might be comfortable with their story in an internal report but not on social media.
They might agree to their story being used in funding applications but not in press releases.
They might be fine with a first name and no photo, but not a full name and face visible.
Consent should be granular. Let people choose where they're comfortable being visible. And make sure this is recorded.
The Consent Conversation Your Organisation Needs
Here's a process you can adapt for your organisation's consent process:
Before you ask for consent:
Has enough time passed since the person's transformation?
Is their current situation stable enough that sharing won't create risk?
Are they still dependent on your services in a way that might make them feel obligated?
When you approach them:
Use a separate conversation, not part of service delivery
Explain you're asking them to consider sharing their story
Make it clear there's no obligation and no impact on services
Give them time to think (don't expect an immediate answer)
If they're interested:
Show them the full consent form
Walk through each use case and let them choose what they're comfortable with
Explain how they can withdraw consent later
Answer any questions about privacy, safety, or control
Give them a copy of the consent form
Schedule a follow-up conversation before publishing anything
After consent is given:
Share drafts before publishing (don't surprise them)
Check they're still comfortable after seeing the final version
Send them links when content goes live so they know what's out there
Check in periodically, especially if circumstances have changed
Respect withdrawal requests immediately
When Someone Can't Give Consent
This is the hardest situation.
When the person at the centre of the story has died, lacks capacity, or is a child, consent becomes more complex.
For deceased individuals:
Consider whether sharing serves their memory or exploits it. Would they have wanted this visibility? Does the story honour their dignity?
I ask myself these questions about Naz constantly. The answer shapes what I share and what I keep private.
For children and young people:
Get consent from both the young person (if old enough to understand) and their parent/guardian. Remember that what feels fine at age 14 might feel mortifying at age 18.
Consider using pseudonyms and avoiding identifiable photos. Protect their future self from decisions made when they were younger.
For people lacking capacity:
Work with their advocate or family. Ask what protects their dignity. Default to caution.
Their story can still be told in aggregate ("people we support experience...") without individual identification.
Framework: The Consent Protection Spectrum
Use this spectrum to assess whether your current consent process protects dignity:
Level 1: No Protection (Harmful)
Grabbing consent in the moment of service
Using stories without any permission
No way to withdraw consent
Person doesn't know where their story appears
Obligation implied through power dynamic
Level 2: Legal Protection Only (Insufficient)
Written consent form exists
But it's vague about use cases
No follow-up after initial consent
Person can't easily withdraw
Focus on protecting organisation, not person
Level 3: Basic Dignity Protection (Minimum Standard)
Time gap between service and consent request
Specific use cases explained
Written consent with clear language
Withdrawal process exists and is communicated
No obligation to participate
Level 4: Comprehensive Protection (Best Practice)
Separate consent for each use case
Draft review before publication
Regular check-ins about continued comfort
Easy withdrawal process
Explicit separation from service delivery
Support offered if sharing causes distress
Level 5: Empowerment Model (Gold Standard)
Person has control over narrative
Co-creation of how story is told
Person sees measurable impact of sharing (e.g., policy change, funding secured)
Compensation offered where appropriate
Organisation accounts for power dynamics
Person can shape how their identity is presented
Most organisations I speak to operate at Level 2. Your goal is Level 3 minimum, Level 4 standard, Level 5 when possible.
Template: Dignity Centred Consent Form
Use this template to create a consent process that protects dignity. I've also created a Google Doc / Microsoft Word version of this that you can download from the link underneath.
CONSENT TO SHARE YOUR STORY
Thank you for considering sharing your experience with [Organisation Name]. This form explains how we'd like to share your story and gives you control over what happens.
What we're asking:
We'd like to share your story to:
Show funders that our work creates real change
Help other people in similar situations know they're not alone
Demonstrate to policymakers why this issue matters
Your choices:
Please tick the uses you're comfortable with:
□ Internal reports (seen by staff and trustees only)
□ Funding applications (seen by funders and grant-makers)
□ Website and email newsletters (public, searchable online)
□ Social media (public, potentially shared by others)
□ Print materials (leaflets, annual reports that can't be removed later)
□ Press and media (newspapers, radio, TV, documentaries)
How you'll be identified:
□ Real first name and last name
□ First name only
□ Pseudonym (false name): _______________
□ No name, just "a person we support"
Photos:
□ Yes, use my photo with face visible
□ Yes, use my photo with face obscured/blurred
□ No photos of me
Important information:
Saying no won't affect the support we provide you
You can change your mind at any time by contacting [name] at [email]
We'll show you drafts before publishing anything
We'll let you know when and where your story appears
You can ask us to remove your story from our website at any time
We can't unpublish printed materials, but we'll stop using them
Questions before you decide:
Do you have safety concerns about your story being public?
Is there anything we should definitely not mention?
Are you comfortable with people potentially recognising you?
Would you prefer to wait before deciding?
Your consent:
I understand what I'm agreeing to. I've had time to think about it. I know I can change my mind later.
Name: _______________
Signature: _______________
Date: _______________
Organisation representative: _______________
Date: _______________
Copy for you:
Please keep a copy of this form. You can contact us at any time about your story.
AI Prompt: Consent Assessment
Copy and paste this into ChatGPT, Claude, or Gemini. Personally, I recommend using Claude for this. Then replace the [placeholder content] with your own words.
Note: To get the best results, first download my Social Impact Storytelling Framework, then upload the file along with the prompt below.
AI PROMPT:
You are an ethical storytelling consultant helping a charity assess their consent process.
Context about the organisation:
- Organisation name: [Your organisation]
- Who we work with: [Beneficiary groups - be specific about vulnerabilities, power dynamics, dependencies]
- Current consent process: [Describe how you currently get consent and upload existing consent form]
- Stories you currently share: [Where and how you use beneficiary stories]
Please assess our consent process across these dimensions:
1. **Timing:** Do we give people enough time and space between receiving services and asking for consent?
2. **Power dynamics:** Are we accounting for the fact that people might feel obligated because we provide their housing/benefits/support/employment?
3. **Transparency:** Do people understand exactly where their story will appear and who will see it?
4. **Granularity:** Can people choose different levels of visibility rather than all-or-nothing consent?
5. **Withdrawal:** Can people easily withdraw consent later? Do they know this is an option?
6. **Safety:** Are we considering whether sharing might create risks for the person (housing insecurity, immigration status, safety from abusers, employment, insurance)?
7. **Dignity:** Does our process protect the person's control over their own narrative, or does it prioritise our organisational needs?
For each dimension, tell me:
- What we're doing well
- What creates risk
- One specific improvement we should make this month
Be direct. Challenge me if I'm prioritising organisational convenience over individual protection. I'd rather hear the truth now than cause harm later.🛠️ Tool of the week
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A final note…
This topic matters deeply to me. Getting consent wrong can cause real harm to vulnerable people. Getting it right means you can share powerful stories that create change while protecting the dignity of everyone involved.
If you'd like more detailed guidance on consent for specific situations (photography, video, children, mental health, domestic abuse survivors, immigration status), reply to this email and let me know. I'll create more resources if there's demand.
And, if you enjoyed reading this newsletter and found it useful, please forward this email on to your colleague and ask them to subscribe here:
https://www.impactstoryteller.org/
Until next week, sending you safe and peaceful energy
Matt Mahmood-Ogston
Award-winning impact storyteller, photographer and charity CEO.
ogston.com
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