The post ends like this:

There's a link to the website in the comments. It goes to the home page. The donate button is two pages further in, and the form is hard to fill in on a phone.

The team was pleased with it. It was one of their best posts of the year.

The story is good. The ending is the problem.

It stops at the exact moment the reader feels the most, then asks for the one thing that changes nothing for Sam or the charity: a share. A share passes the feeling on to someone else, who also has nowhere to put it.

People who did want to help had to work for it. They had to find the link, find the right page, and fill in a form on a small screen. Most won't. They'll feel something, type "heartbreaking", and scroll on.

Nobody answered the 21 comments, so the people who cared most heard nothing back. And a month later, nobody could say whether the post had helped anyone.

That's the hidden cost. Next time the team plans a post, they'll judge it on shares and comments again, because that's all they counted.

In the very first edition of this newsletter, back in January, I asked you to decide two things before you plan any story: the feeling you want people to have, and the one thing you want them to do. Most teams get good at the first part. The second gets added at the end, if there's room.

So use this test. When someone finishes your story wanting to help, where do they go?

If the honest answer is "they'd have to go looking", your story has nowhere to go.

Then three actions:

Here's the same post, rewritten.

Look at what's different.

The story now ends with Sam somewhere better, so the reader can picture what their help does.

There's one ask, with an amount the reader can understand, and a link that goes straight to the form.

"Please share" has gone. People who want to share it still will. It doesn't need to be the ask.

The work around the post changes too:

If you need time rather than donations, the same rules apply: "We need three drivers on Saturday mornings. Reply here and Jo will call you this week."

If you fund charities, ask one question when you fund a campaign or a story: "What will people do after they read it, and how will you know?" Then fund the answer: the page they arrive on, the person who replies, and the time to count. That part rarely has a budget.

If your company shares a charity partner's story with staff or customers, give it somewhere to go too. A story in the staff newsletter that ends "find out more" goes nowhere. "Help pack food bags on 12 December. Sign up here" goes somewhere.

Some stories shouldn't come with an ask. A memorial, someone's grief, or a story told to change minds may only need a gentle next step, like where to read more or where to get help.

The ask must never go further than the person in the story agreed to. Sam agreed to share her story. Check she's happy for it to sit next to a request for donations before you add one.

And four weeks of numbers won't tell you everything. A volunteer who signs up today might still be with you in ten years. Count what you can, and write down the rest.

Working out where your stories should send people is easier with other people around you. That's what the Impact Storytelling Collective is for: a home for charity and social impact leaders, with live workshops, co-working sessions and honest feedback from people doing the same work.

It opens this Monday, 9 November, to a small group of 10 to 15 founding members, who join free and help me shape it. Once it's ready, it opens to everyone.

Join the list and I'll let you know when the doors open.

Would you like to be a founding member? Reply to this email and tell me a little about your work. Founding places are by invitation, and I'll be in touch.

This prompt reads a story before you publish it. It checks whether the story should carry an ask at all, finds the moment the reader is likely to feel the most, and quotes the ask you've made (or tells you there isn't one). It suggests up to three small asks someone could do in two minutes on a phone, lists what needs to be in place for the ask to work, and flags anything that might go further than the person in the story agreed to. It won't rewrite your story, and it won't make anything up.

Before you paste: swap real names for made-up ones, and take out anything else that could identify the people you support.

Copy and paste it into Claude or Gemini.

This AI prompt is accessible to subscribers of this newsletter. It's free to subscribe, and all you need to provide is your email address ↓

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This is the last of four case files. One click tells me whether to keep this format, and there's space to add a line on why.

Got a story that people loved and nothing came of? Or a case study, a funding application or a board report you're not sure about?

Reply to this email, or message me on LinkedIn, and describe it in a few lines. I'll pick some to work through as case files in future editions.

If I use yours, I'll take out anything that could identify you, your organisation or the people you work with, and I'll show you the case before it goes out.

Moving people is the start of the job. Where you send them is the rest of it.

Before your next story goes out, read the last line and ask where it sends people.